Forgiveness is divine. As long as it’s our offenses that get forgiven.

Testing the limits of vaginal elasticity.

Forgiveness. That grand and noble sentiment that is the very core of Christianity. Or is the core tenet hypocrisy? I sometimes forget and, with the actions of Christians, it’s sometimes quite easy to get confused.

Testing the limits of vaginal elasticity.

Everyone should be aware by now of the newest scandal to add to the extremely lengthy list of sexual abuse cases caused by sexually repressed Christians. Namely, that of Josh Duggar. The now former head of the bigoted Family Research Council, a group who tries to link homosexuality with pedophilia, resigned after information surfaced about accusations that he had been accused of child molestation as a teenager. Josh is a member of the now infamous Duggar family. The Duggars, a family of insipid Christians who adhere to a particularly insidious, fundamentalist crackpot movement of Christianity commonly referred to as the “Quiverfull” movement. Quiverfull families loudly denounce all forms of birth control and their main focus is procreation above all else, which, combined with the explosive birth rates of fundamentalist Muslims elsewhere, should frighten any sensible person. These families also promote a return to biblical patriarchy. Outwardly, the women seem fine, but any scrutiny of the daily operations of these families reveals just how horrifically sexist and misogynistic they truly are. Women are treated as little more than breeding stock. If any of you have had the misfortune of having actually been made to sit through an episode of 19 Kids and Counting, and succeeded in making it through with any sense of your sanity intact, you will have been witness to how much the Dugger female children are treated as property. The girls are the exclusive property of their father until he finds her a suitable husband to give her to and as if to add insult to injury, when the father is not present, one of the male children has absolute and complete control of her life until the father returns. The only thing these women and girls are missing are registration papers and bills of sale and I’m quite sure that if Jim Bob–the silly ignoramus who’s attempt to turn his wife’s vagina into a clown car has been largely successful–wasn’t aware it was illegal in the U.S. to own another person, he would have a title for his wife and female offspring drawn up and notarized in an instant.

 

Oh man, the statute of limitations ran out. Sorry guys!
Oh man, the statute of limitations ran out. Sorry guys!

Given how much control over the female children the male brothers are given, coupled with how rigidly sexual repression is a staple of the teaching in the household, it should then come as no surprise to anyone that some abuses of that authority had taken place at some point. If you thought this might be quietly swept under the rug, never fear, Fox News host, her royal whiteness Megan Kelly is coming to the rescue. Kelly now plans to host Jim Bob and Michelle for a two part interview which will air on Wednesday the 3rd at 9pm and the second part on Friday the 5th at 9pm. I have enormous doubts to whether anyone would think of taking this interview seriously. Fox News and it’s rhetoric filled, purely ideological and irresponsible propaganda machine isn’t going to be hitting the Duggars with any hard questions, that much is certain. In fact, the entire point of the interview seems to be so that the Duggers can “share our hearts with you about the pain that we walked through as a family twelve years ago, the tears we all shed and the forgiveness that was given”. How convenient. With the track record of Fox News on the Duggar case so far, like spending less than two minutes covering the scandal, with the exception of what I can only describe as Megan Kelly’s extremely typical intellectual dishonesty in desperately trying to divert attention away from the crimes by, I shit you not, expressing outrage over someone leaking the story to the media and exposing the Duggars; I think it’s a safe bet to say that this interview will be little better than a fluff piece. The good and wholesome Christian family will come on and explain how great Christianity is because Jesus wants you to forgive Josh Duggar and that, in this great nation full of Christians, all is now forgiven so that the Duggars can go back to making money on TV by pandering to religious sexual fantasies.

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